tanaqui: Illumiinated letter T (Default)
[personal profile] tanaqui
With the holiday season coming up, at least some of us are likely to have to spend time with family members who are "difficult". Whether that's because they're Trump supporters, conspiracy theorists, racist, homophobic, various flavors of awful about mental health or physical disabilities or just emotionally abusive and permanently out to undermine us and our choices (and very possibly all of those at once.)

This post is for people to share good resources about how to survive having to spend time with these people. Drop links in the comments and I'll add them to the post.

Dealing with difficult behaviour from family members

https://www.selfdefensefund.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Verbal-Defense.pdf

https://www.amazon.com/You-Cant-Say-That-Me/dp/0471003999

https://www.amazon.com/How-Disagree-Without-Being-Disagreeable/dp/0471157015

https://accelerate.uofuhealth.utah.edu/leadership/how-to-disagree-without-being-disagreeable

https://divethru.com/how-to-have-difficult-conversations-with-your-loved-ones/

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-navigate-difficult-relationships-with-family-5120173

https://www.marriage.com/advice/family/abusive-family-members/

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mental-health/dealing-with-abusive-family-members/

https://www.beautyafterbruises.org/blog/toxicfamilyholidayguide

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/deal-with-narcissist/

https://www.fairparkcounseling.com/how-to-deal-with-a-drunk-family-member/

https://www.thedailymeal.com/holidays/13-things-never-discuss-thanksgiving-dinner/

https://www.beliefnet.com/love-family/holidays/12-rules-for-a-more-peaceful-and-happy-holiday.aspx

Talking about difficult topics with family members

Resources for children:
https://jgateways.org/news/blog/talking-about-israel-with-children-with-disabilities-and-mental-health-needs/ (broadly applicable to any hot topic)

https://reformjudaism.org/reform-jewish-life/youth-family-community/parenting/how-talk-children-about-conflict-israel

Recommended Books

"The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Dr Patricia Evans
"T
he Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense" By Dr Suzette Elgin


(Note: comment screening is currently on.)
sathari: (Waiting for ourselves)
[personal profile] sathari
For those in the LGBTQ+ community in the United States, the Human Rights Campaign is providing state-by-state information about laws affecting different LGBTQ+ populations in all 50 states. If you're traveling, you can text "MYSTATE" to 472472 to get localized information about the laws in your state and a link to a more comprehensive guidebook. More information from them, including the fact that they've declared a national emergency for LGBTQ+ USAmericans, can be found here and here.
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
I recently launched a community with relevance to different types of activism and things people can easily do locally.

[community profile] birdfeeding is a new community started on January 1, 2023. It's all about birdfeeding, birdwatching, and other topics relating to birds. It also touches on environmentalism, nature in general, and observations that may effect bird activity such as local weather. Both text and image posts are welcome.

Community resources include posts about birding events, nurseries that sell seeds or plants attractive to birds, bird identification apps, the benefits of birdwatching, and other useful materials.

Thus far, members include people from far-flung parts of the United States of America as well as Scotland, so we're seeing a nice wide range of habitats and bird species. Birds that are common in one area may be uncommon or unfamiliar in another area.

You can introduce yourself using the form in the Introduction post, or however you like. If you love birds and nature, come check out [community profile] birdfeeding!

Read more... )
tanaqui: Illumiinated letter T (Default)
[personal profile] tanaqui
It's been a while since our last check in. I've been traveling, with limited internet access, so I'm not sure I've caught up on everything that happened while I was offline. But enough to know that Trump, Pence and their minions continue to be despicable.

Thanks to everyone who's been posting action items and links! Here's a reminder of what's been happening in the comm since our last check in:

Support The No Ban Act
National Nurses United Medicare For All Tools
Signal Boost: Captain Awkward On Activism In These Stressful Times
Two Worthwhile Newsletters For Local Action
Trump Baby Will Fly Again -- For A Price
Submit A Public Comment On The New Rule Discriminating Against Trans People

So, what have you all been up to in the last week or are planning to get involved in next week?

Poll #22086 The Week
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 6


This week, I...

View Answers

called my one senator
2 (33.3%)

called my other senator
2 (33.3%)

called my representative
1 (16.7%)

called my governor
1 (16.7%)

called my state reps
0 (0.0%)

sent a postcard/email/letter/fax
3 (50.0%)

attended a town hall
0 (0.0%)

donated money to a cause
2 (33.3%)

attended an in-person activist group
1 (16.7%)

participated in phone/online training
0 (0.0%)

went to a protest
1 (16.7%)

signed up for alerts
0 (0.0%)

worked for a campaign
0 (0.0%)

did textbanking/phonebanking
0 (0.0%)

took care of myself
3 (50.0%)

not a US citizen but worked in solidarity in my own community
1 (16.7%)

did something else
2 (33.3%)

committed to action in the coming week
1 (16.7%)


redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
I want to recommend Captain Awkward's recent post "We Have Always Lived In Presidential Primary Season: A Half-Assed Activist Post About Getting Through This Shitshow Without Perpetuating Or Tolerating Bad Behavior And Keeping Some Tiny Spark Of Hope Alive". The article is a combination of things Jennifer thinks, or hopes, might be useful politically, and suggestions on not driving yourself up the wall in the process. It's a public post on her Patreon page, which she's encouraging people to link to.

As she says there, she's not interested in re-litigating anything about the 2016 elections or in debate about specific candidates or political leanings.
tassosss: Shen Wei Zhao Yunlan Era (Default)
[personal profile] tassosss
We’re a week into the new regime, and I don’t know about the rest of you, but information overload is becoming a problem. Focusing on what can be done and what you can do personally in the midst of lots of terrible things happening all at the same time is going to be the balancing challenge of the next four years.

In the wake of the energy of the Women’s March, “What’s next?” is the question going around.Twitter thread (hat tip to [personal profile] tielan ): So you just got home from your local Women's March. Now what

Lots of people and lots of websites are being set up to help walk folks through it -- and it’s almost information overload with all of these options. At the bottom of this post, I’ve put together a preliminary list of these. If you’re ready to jump in, feel free to skip ahead.

If you’re like me and struggle with picking the “right one,” I suggest a different approach.

Recognize What Your Limits Are
  1. Are you going to have the spoons to call Congress people every day or do you need to limit it to once a week?
  2. If you can't call, can you write letters or postcards?
  3. Do you have the time, energy, or ability to get involved in an in-person group? If so what kind of time commitment can you make?
Answering these for yourself upfront will help you figure out what website/group is right for you, and more importantly set your personal boundaries so you don’t have to feel guilty for not living up to unrealistic goals. The goal is sustained action over four years, so do what you can when you can.

Make a Personal Action Plan
  1. Once you've figured out what you can do and how often, write it down!
  2. Figure out a time you can do it and make it a habit. Schedule it on your calendar. Google Calendar has email reminders for you to do the thing. I use Habitica, so I’ve added calling my Congress people to my Thursday Dailies to-do list.
  3. Gather all the letter writing materials, phone numbers, whatever for the thing.
  4. If you need motivation, find a buddy to do the thing with. We're looking into organizing virtual call partiesso stay tuned.
  5. Make sure self-care is part of your action plan. [personal profile] snickfic 's 1/25 roundup linked to a really great article about this How to #StayOutraged Without Losing Your Mind (Medium).

Writing down a plan forces you to think through the steps and visualize yourself doing them. This can help get you to actually do them, if that’s something you’re struggling with. You are not alone - it’s hard to start a new habit like this.

Okay, now onto the resource list. I have not vetted these, so if folks can endorse, please do so, and add more in comments and I'll add them to the list.

Set it up and don’t think about it action from home
Donate monthly to an organization

Weekly action from home
re:act
Fight Trump
Democrats Abroad Congressional Call Storm for Americans living abroad
5 Calls
The 65: We're His Problem Now

Less than daily more than weekly
Wall of Us
My Civic Workout
Call Them In

Daily action from home
Any of the above sites giving weekly actions can be turned into Daily by repeating or alternating different week's scripts
DailyAction.org

Get yourself out there in your community
#JointheMovement
Dream Corps

By topic
Helps Figure Out What Organizations You May Want to Support
Holy Fuck the Election

Healthcare
Families USA

What Congress is Voting On
MegaVote



Feel free to add more in the comments. This will become an updated resource list.

tanaqui: Illumiinated letter T (Default)
[personal profile] tanaqui
From [livejournal.com profile] siderea:
Americans and people living in the USA:

Here is a list of things you can do to prepare for your own safety and well-being in a variety of possible unfortunate futures that look more likely under the Trump administration.

I was thinking of issuing one item per week, to keep people from getting overwhelmed with the scale of it, but I know different people will have different priorities, so here it all is. Seriously, please do not try to do this all in one rush, lest you overwhelm yourself, and become paralyzed unable to do any of it.

[...]

So your first task is to take this list and make your own version, ordered in accord with your own priorities and exigencies.

Read the rest of the post and view the list here. There's also lot of really good discussion in the comments.

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