[personal profile] cosmolinguist

Thanks to [personal profile] otter for sharing this video the other day: Emotional Neglect: Healing from the Hidden Trauma of What Didn't Happen

I got around to watching it and it hit me so hard I needed to write this huge long thing about it. It's mostly transcript of the parts of the video that I wanted to make a note of, because it's not very accessible to me otherwise. But my thoughts are sprinkled around the block quotes of course.

Emotional Neglect )

Emotions Draw Our Attention to What Matters to Us )

Shame, and Phobia of Inner Experiences )

Ordinary days

Feb. 28th, 2026 11:59 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

I started getting a migraine halfway through lift club this morning.

I ignored it of course -- just the aura, at that point -- knowing that I'd have a while before it got, y'know, debilitating.

I enjoyed the rest of the exercises. I did nearly fall both at the beginning and the end of the escalator I took to get from the tram to the train, oops. But also I got home fine, via B&M for medicinal snacks -- mostly sugar, which I often crave during migraines, but also one particular 59p instant ramen thing that I suddenly needed, and enjoyed very much for my lunch.

It was that rare rough day for the whole house: D's IBS was playing up and he had to make his brain work on paperwork so much this afternoon that when he finally emerged I wondered if migraines were contagious (luckily he perked up a little after eating something). V slept through all their alarms and so has been off-kilter all day. I slept for four hours this afternoon and after that reached the point where I felt okay unless I tried to move or even think too hard.

Then we watched a Starfleet Academy episode and as soon as Sam mentioned Our Town I was like ...you come to me, on the day of my migraine, and now I'm gonna have to cry? (Crying is fine but a physically unenjoyable experience for me at the best of times. Which, we've established, today is not.) (I got a tear in my eye, but even that was only at the very end.)

Like I've said here, Our Town is largely responsible for why I write almost every day here. "I can't look at everything hard enough" fucking haunts me (of course we heard that line in the episode), and it's important to me to look at things as hard as I can while they are happening.

tl;dr: People are actually bad at predicting how much they'll enjoy reading back what they've written about their lives! Writing about the ordinary experiences of your life can be even more cheering to you when you go back and read them than the extraordinary ones.

A nice reminder on an excessively ordinary day.

Good news

Feb. 27th, 2026 09:06 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

I slept like ass again, but if I'm gonna wake up at 6am it was nice to wake up to good news: the obvious bigots of Reform didn't win, and the more normie bigots of Labour didn't win either -- the Greens won!

I don't really care what this means for Labour or Keir Starmer -- it has never in my 20 years of living here made much tangible difference who the Prime Minister is -- I'm just glad to have an MP who might not be totally useless because I've had enough of that the last couple years! We've had a functionally useless MP in Gorton and Denton since Gwynne lost the Labour whip and his ministerial post but kept voting along with Labour anyway. Worst of both worlds: he couldn't really advocate for us any more but still voted like he would've before. Not that he was much use as public health minister: my hopes were high when he first got the position, especially as he was open about his Long Covid (which I think ended up being why he had to resign on health grounds), but he was a real disappointment to people I know who have ME or LC who'd also expected him to help, and he wasn't interested in advocating for clean air in public places or anything that would help with the ongoing pandemic, and my attempt to explain to him the public health implications of transphobia-as-policy (like the totally-predictable spike in teen suicides) didn't get anywhere either.

And more widely, of course, this is making some people feel more hopeful than we have in a long time. My queer and community-defense group chats were full of relief, congratulations to the volunteers we know who knocked on doors and did other thankless work for this (in the rain! even for Manchester it's been rainy lately), and a little bit of giddy meme-making.

There's all kinds of speculation now on what this means for the upcoming local elections in England (and devolved government elections in both Wales and Scotland, but they get to have nationalistic parties to vote for there too), as well as for Labour and Reform and so on.

But for now, there's a lot of hope in a lot of people who didn't have much (I caught a link to this video and watched it before I realized it's Owen Jones, heh), and that is a great gift.

petra: CGI Obi-Wan Kenobi with his face smudged with dirt, wearing beige, visible from the chest up. A Clone Trooper is visible over one shoulder. (Obi-Wan - Clones ftw)
[personal profile] petra
i want to raise a city behind his teeth (9422 words) by Petra
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker
Additional Tags: Virgin Obi-Wan Kenobi, Loss of Virginity, First Time, Coming In Pants, Oral Sex, Intercrural Sex, Anal Sex, Rimming, Infidelity, Identity Porn
Summary:

Obi-Wan celebrates becoming a Jedi Master and Anakin's knighting by thoroughly ridding himself of his virginity with Anakin's assistance; Obi-Wan mourns the loss of his padawan and consoles himself with several partnered orgasms. Anakin contributes to both sets of emotions.

1SE for February 2026

Feb. 28th, 2026 09:54 pm
nanila: me (Default)
[personal profile] nanila


I spent a lot of the first half of the month travelling, and the second half of the month recovering from the travelling while also working. I feel this video reflects those two halves pretty accurately.

Food

Feb. 28th, 2026 03:19 pm
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
People want to avoid ultra-processed foods. But experts struggle to define them

The American diet is killing us. On that point, public health experts largely agree.

And in recent years, people who want to make Americans healthier — across the ideological spectrum — are targeting ultra-processed foods, which make up the majority of what Americans eat.


Read more... )

Birdfeeding

Feb. 28th, 2026 03:05 pm
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Today is partly sunny and mild.

I fed the birds. I've seen a flock of sparrows.

I put out water for the birds.

EDIT 2/28/26 -- I cut and labeled four more water jugs. These are for flower mixes: Part-Shade Wildflowers, Edible Flowers, Fragrant Flowers, and 20th Anniversary Prairie Wildflowers. I skipped the Monarch Mix because that includes a bunch of nectar annuals like zinnias and cosmos which prefer warmer weather; I may make a jug for this later in spring.

EDIT 2/28/26 -- I sowed and taped the jugs.

EDIT 2/28/26 -- I carried the jugs to the parking lot and secured them with salvaged string.

The honeybees are out in force today. They are investigating everything to see if it is a flower. I am not a flower, but at least they finally found the actual flowers. In addition to the lavender crocus, there are now two yellow ones by the log garden and a white one in the rain garden. Many of the snowdrops are open too. :D Yay flowers!

EDIT 2/28/26 -- I dug up several clumps of volunteer daffodils that had seeded themselves into the parking lot, and transplanted them all around the house yard to go under various trees where they will be safer. I still need to move a lot of snowdrops, though.

I've seen a male cardinal. I've heard the red-winged blackbirds singing, but haven't seen them.

EDIT 2/28/26 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.

I saw a pair of house finches courting plus an extra male.

I am done for the night.
harpers_child: melaka fray reading from "Tales of the Slayers". (Default)
[personal profile] harpers_child
"No this is my shirt. We cannot share the shirt. Stop hitting my face with your tail." <- conversation I am currently having with Radar (who does not know what she wants in this moment)

I fell over for a while recovering from Mardi Gras. Mostly physically, but also emotionally. It's also the season to swap from heat to AC every other day and then back again so my head has been hurting. Screen time has been limited. Klinger is happy about all the couch cuddles.

Three things make a post!

1. The BAFTAs racism thing. Jordan and Lindo shouldn't have had to hear it. I can't imagine how awful it was to hear that on a night that should have been about celebrating the cultural juggernaut Sinners is and the work that went into it.

Davidson had taken steps to limit his impact on the show. (Sat 41 rows back. Asked that his tics be edited out of the broadcast.) The BBC purposefully putting a mic on Davidson to make sure the presenters heard the slurs he couldn't help saying was shitty. (He left when he realized there was a microphone near him.) The show was recorded two hours in advance and several other slurs Davidson said were cut, leaving that one in was hurtful and harmful to many people.

This was handled in such a disrespectful way towards everyone involved. I think the theory that it was done on purpose to drum up views is right. The BBC knew Davidson was going to say horrible things (he can't help it) and chose the worst one to leave in.

2. Mom is sick and has "a cold" that has laid her out for a week. No she hasn't tested for anything. It's just "a cold". She hasn't sought medical help even though it's lasting longer than normal. She's arguing about taking OTC medication to help. This is some "offer it up" bullshit that's worse than usual because it's Lent. (Suffering will not make you holy. Take the fucking meds.)

3. I got some of the water activated eyeliners from HoloGrave. They all passed the allergy test (put on arm and wait for a few hours). I guess I'll paint on my face for enrichment some in the near future.

3b. My comfy pants from Lady Epi came in hours ago and are currently in the wash. Yay for comfy pants.

Radar has settled down for lap!cat! time and I'm out of words.

yummy soups

Feb. 28th, 2026 12:36 pm
snickfic: closeup of John Kramer from Saw (Saw Kramer)
[personal profile] snickfic
Here are a couple of my favorite winter soup recipes. They're from cookbooks, so no handy online version to link to. So this is for you and also for me, so I can access these away from my cookbooks.

Pork and hominy soup )

Sausage, White Bean, and Kale Soup With Besar )
duskpeterson: The lowercased letters D and P, joined together (Default)
[personal profile] duskpeterson

Before I lead you into the palace (figuratively speaking), I need to emphasize the importance of good behavior.

Bad behavior can get you killed anywhere in the Three Lands, but in the Chara's palace it is also likely to get you tortured for days. This is because the highest penalty for crimes committed in the Chara's palace is death by torture - the so-called "Slave's Death." Although the previous Chara ordered the release of the empire's slaves, bringing to an end the torture of every palace slave condemned to death, traitors are still liable to this penalty.

The definition of "traitor" can be quite broad in the Chara's palace. I recommend that you not test its boundaries.

Some specific advice:

Be on your best behavior. Dress well, and learn the rules of courtesy toward Emorian noblemen and palace officials. When in doubt, bow. Address everyone you meet, whatever his age, as "sir" or by his title. You need not address the Chara by his full title, which is quite long; just "Chara" will do.

The wearing of arms is permitted by law in the Chara's palace if it is your custom in your homeland. However, if you choose to wear arms, you will find that every guard in the palace will leap upon you the moment you take the wrong turn in your path. Your life will be easier if you set aside your weapons during your visit. You are in no danger of being attacked yourself; the Chara's palace is the most heavily guarded building in the world, and visitors are free recipients of that guarding.

Also, be aware that the wearing of hidden weapons in the palace is considered a crime of treachery. Even I don't try to do this, unless I have made prior arrangements with the Chara.


[Translator's note: The Slave's Death is a tender topic for the Ambassador. Just why is explained in Blood Vow.]

petra: A blonde woman with both hands over her face (Britta - Twohanded facepalm)
[personal profile] petra
I hate this timeline )
sholio: A stack of books (Books & coffee)
[personal profile] sholio
So I'm still on a Jason Pargin kick. This is definitely a Jason Pargin book (bizarre, convoluted, funny, much sweeter and kinder than you'd expect). Unlike most of his other books, there are no horror or SFF elements; this one is more of a straightforward(ish) satirical action/thriller/comedy. Also, Jason Pargin continues to have the best titles around. (The next book in the John Dies at the End series is There Are No Giant Crabs in This Novel: A Novel of Giant Crabs. I cannot wait.)

Anyway, back to this book.

Abbott is a 26-year-old Twitch streamer, incel, and part-time Lyft driver who shows up on a call to a parking lot, where he finds a girl about his own age with a mysterious black box, who introduces herself as Ether (clearly not her real name) and offers him $200K in cash to drive her across the country, on the condition that he a) does not ask her what's in the box, b) does not open the box, and c) leaves his phone and other electronics behind. Abbott, who still lives with his emotionally abusive dad, agrees on the principle that this will give him the ability and agency to move out (failing to realize that the money isn't really the issue; wherever you go, there you are, etc).

However, before he leaves, he broadcasts one last Twitch stream in which he tells his followers that he'll be gone for a few days on an errand. Since this is wildly out of character for Abbott, his followers and online friends immediately conclude that he's been kidnapped or is otherwise in trouble, and start a Subreddit to track him. Abbott, phoneless, is blissfully unaware that he and his companion are the subjects of an online media frenzy, or that they're being pursued by a growing number of people who are after the box and/or them, including a homicidal biker, a disgraced FBI agent with a specialty in online conspiracies who is convinced the box contains a nuclear bomb, and Abbott's dad, as well as a lot of online wannabe heroes.

It turns out that "black box of doom" refers not just to the box that is the book's Pulp-Fiction-style maguffin, but also (and perhaps foremost) online echo chambers that isolate people and turn their entire world into a popularity spiral in which they are terrified to voice their real opinions, and any controversy can blow up into a literally life-ending scandal.

I think the thing that makes this book work for me is that it's not terribly ham-handed and mostly just lets the characters be people (and genuinely isn't afraid to let them be terrible people now and then). The point is that we're all flawed; the point is that the world is better than you think; the point is that the people who think the only real world is offline and the ones who live completely within a screen are equally right and wrong. Abbott's online friends are real friends (one of them is one of the most helpful and resourceful people who gives them a hand on their increasingly bizarre and problem-prone road trip), and the people who say they're not, including Ether, are wrong; Abbott's dad, who is at least 50% of the reason why Abbott is Like That and thinks his son is wasting his life online and failing at Life, while successful by real-world standards is just as isolated, miserable, and emotionally repressed as Abbott is, but is also a Big Damn Hero when he has to be. Ether has embraced the ethos of living off the grid and insists that people are wasting their lives in the electronic world, but it was the online world that shaped her and created her biggest success and failures. You can make real connections online, but you also need to get offline and touch grass once in a while. It's not either/or.

This book also includes a chapter written by a conspiracy nut on a wall, lot of subreddit posts, and a climax that made me keep having to put the book down because I was laughing so hard. It's absolutely not going to be to everyone's taste, but I really liked it.

A brief, spoilery comment on pairings in the book:
about Abbott and Ether mostlyWhile Ether is definitely the first girl Abbott's ever had an emotionally intimate relationship with, they do not fall in love and in fact don't even really *like* each other for most of the book. By the end, they've risked their lives for each other a few times and are tentatively friends, but that's as far as it goes. I really liked that. (Abbott's dad and conspiracy theorist FBI agent Joan Key are definitely banging, however, and more power to 'em.)

New Year's Resolutions Check In

Feb. 28th, 2026 01:22 am
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
We made it to the end of February! \o/ If you have completed any of your short-term goals or subgoals, and/or you're still chugging away at your ongoing goals, then pat yourself on the back. You worked hard for that. About 95% of New Year's resolutions crash and burn before the end of January. If you're still going, you have beaten the odds!

I'm continuing to track goals at the end of each month. So far it seems to be helping, so that's encouraging. I'm looking at my goal list more often and trying to keep ticking off more of them.


These are the previous check in posts:
New Year's Resolutions Check In January 9
New Year's Resolutions Check In January 16
New Year's Resolutions Check In January 23
New Year's Resolutions Check In January 30

Read more... )

important vulture updates

Feb. 27th, 2026 11:01 pm
radiantfracture: a gouache painting of a turkey vulture head on a blue background, painted by me (vulture)
[personal profile] radiantfracture
Did you know vultures are sexually monomorphic? Females and males look so much alike that it's difficult to sex them unless you personally watch one lay an egg (and even then bird genes are delightfully unpredictable). Just another awesome vulture fact I learned from the raptor centre insta.

Further, condors (aka Really Big Vultures) can reproduce via parthenogenesis. Here are some excellent queer bird stickers. I have ordered the asexual condor and the trans kookaburra.

§rf§

Philosophical Questions: Government

Feb. 28th, 2026 12:04 am
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
People have expressed interest in deep topics, so this list focuses on philosophical questions.

In an ideal government, what should a good citizen provide to their government and what should that government provide that good citizen?


A good citizen should provide respect as earned, a reasonable share of taxes, contribution to society, well-informed opinions on public matters, and civic participation such as voting.

A good government should provide survival needs or the means to meet them, responsible spending of taxes on public goods, respectable laws, honorable leaders, and the ability to do things at larger scale than individuals could do alone.  And not meddle in things that are none of its business.




Short day

Feb. 28th, 2026 12:10 am
silver_chipmunk: (Default)
[personal profile] silver_chipmunk
I was up til 3:00 am last night trying to update my journal on this crappy computer. Then when I finally got to bed, I played solitaire to try and calm down, for far too long.

So today I slept until 2:00. I got up, had breakfast and coffee, and tried to go online. It was frustrating.

I got one at 4:00, just in time to shower and dress to go to my meeting.

I tried something different today, taking the 61instead of the 25. Not a great idea, it doesn't stop where I thought it did, and I had to walk back to the 50 stop. But I just made a 50, so that's OK.

Anyway I had my usual pizza first, and then went to my meeting, which was small but good.

L drove me to the bus stop, but the bus was almost 15 minutes late. I fonally got it and got to the 25 stop, had to wait 10 minutes for the 25 but finally got home.

Tried to Team the FWiB. The computer would not cooperate. Finally we connected, and talked for about half an hour. Then we got off and I started trying to do my journal again. Not working well.

Gratitude List:

1. The FWiB.

2. I was able to sleep late today.

3. Pizza.

4. My meetings and the people there.

5. The bus finally came.

6. Bed soon.

Spotted.

Feb. 27th, 2026 10:48 pm
hannah: (Sam and Dean - soaked)
[personal profile] hannah
Based on the size and the chirps, I'm pretty sure the bird I saw perched on the rooftop structure earlier today was a peregrine falcon. I didn't have anything to take a picture, and I didn't see it fly off to be able to check the silhouette, so I'm only working off what I got from the ground across the street.

It was hard to miss. At least, I found it hard to miss. There wasn't enough noise to drown out the chirps, which were distinctive enough I knew something had to be around. I deliberately stopped a little while to look at it, in case anyone walking by would stop to see what I was looking at, or ask me what I'd noticed. There weren't many people, and of the people that came, neither of them bothered. I don't know what was on their minds.

Books

Feb. 27th, 2026 09:02 pm
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
"ENTANGLED LIFE" DISCUSSION POST is up on [community profile] bookclub_dw.  If you've read the book, it's time to talk about mushrooms.  :D
petra: Barbara Gordon smiling knowingly (Default)
[personal profile] petra
I'm working on identity porn for tomorrow because the Virginwan Weekend over on tumblr has it as a prompt, and y'all could've knocked me over with a feather when I saw it listed. A fest for deflowering my blorbo, and it has my word? OMG!

Even though what I meant back when I arguably made the word up (c. August, 2005 | Fanlore) and what the AO3 tag means do not tend to coincide.

My version is "A and B know each other extremely well. They have complicated identities -- maybe secret, but not secret from each other. They kink on acting out a subset of their identities for each other."

I am writing My Kind of Identity Porn on the occasion of Anakin's knighting.

It goes like this. )

*

Tagging this put Patricia O'Callaghan's cover of Leonard Cohen's "I'm Your Man" in my head, so here, have Charmax's awesome femslash vid to it.

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Never Give Up, Never Surrender

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