Crowdsourcing: Resources for dealing with difficult family members

[tanaqui]

With the holiday season coming up, at least some of us are likely to have to spend time with family members who are "difficult". Whether that's because they're Trump supporters, conspiracy theorists, racist, homophobic, various flavors of awful about mental health or physical disabilities or just emotionally abusive and permanently out to undermine us and our choices (and very possibly all of those at once.)

This post is for people to share good resources about how to survive having to spend time with these people. Drop links in the comments and I'll add them to the post.

Dealing with difficult behaviour from family members

https://www.selfdefensefund.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Verbal-Defense.pdf

https://www.amazon.com/You-Cant-Say-That-Me/dp/0471003999

https://www.amazon.com/How-Disagree-Without-Being-Disagreeable/dp/0471157015

https://accelerate.uofuhealth.utah.edu/leadership/how-to-disagree-without-being-disagreeable

https://divethru.com/how-to-have-difficult-conversations-with-your-loved-ones/

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-navigate-difficult-relationships-with-family-5120173

https://www.marriage.com/advice/family/abusive-family-members/

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mental-health/dealing-with-abusive-family-members/

https://www.beautyafterbruises.org/blog/toxicfamilyholidayguide

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/deal-with-narcissist/

https://www.fairparkcounseling.com/how-to-deal-with-a-drunk-family-member/

https://www.thedailymeal.com/holidays/13-things-never-discuss-thanksgiving-dinner/

https://www.beliefnet.com/love-family/holidays/12-rules-for-a-more-peaceful-and-happy-holiday.aspx

Talking about difficult topics with family members

Resources for children:
https://jgateways.org/news/blog/talking-about-israel-with-children-with-disabilities-and-mental-health-needs/ (broadly applicable to any hot topic)

https://reformjudaism.org/reform-jewish-life/youth-family-community/parenting/how-talk-children-about-conflict-israel

Recommended Books

"The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Dr Patricia Evans
"The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense" By Dr Suzette Elgin


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Comments

[labelleizzy]

If you have difficulty with verbally abusive family and you need extra skills, I recommend "the Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Dr Patricia Evans. Recommended to me by a therapist and facilitated me leaving my first husband.

Breaks down verbal abuse strategies so you can spot them, and gives you some tools to combat them and prevent the attacks from landing.

Harder to find is the Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense By Dr Suzette Elgin (RIP.) she was called Ozarque on LJ and used to share wonderful linguistics essays and essays on eldering. I miss her.

[tanaqui]

Thanks for the recommendations. I've added them into the post.