My number one tip is this: Whenever someone does something obnoxious, pull them into a chore. The kids are fighting? You, clear the table; and you, start washing dishes. An adult is bullying someone? Send them out to buy something. There are always things that need to be done. Just interrupting bad behavior can keep it from spreading to other people. It also discourages a repetition. This works best when you have multiple sane adults breaking up the mayhem, and you do need some social dominance to pull it off. And if it means the troublemakers lurk out of sight to avoid chores? As long as they're not setting the house on fire, let them stay out of everyone's hair.
To prevent friction between introverts and extroverts, give the introverts somewhere quiet to go. Most holiday gathers happen at places large enough that you can dedicate a room to the introverts. This deprives bullies of preferred targets and reduces the chance of burned-out introverts biting people's heads off.
Try this ...
https://www.selfdefensefund.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Verbal-Defense.pdf
https://www.amazon.com/You-Cant-Say-That-Me/dp/0471003999
https://www.amazon.com/How-Disagree-Without-Being-Disagreeable/dp/0471157015
https://accelerate.uofuhealth.utah.edu/leadership/how-to-disagree-without-being-disagreeable
https://divethru.com/how-to-have-difficult-conversations-with-your-loved-ones/
https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-navigate-difficult-relationships-with-family-5120173
https://www.marriage.com/advice/family/abusive-family-members/
https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mental-health/dealing-with-abusive-family-members/
https://www.beautyafterbruises.org/blog/toxicfamilyholidayguide
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/deal-with-narcissist/
https://www.fairparkcounseling.com/how-to-deal-with-a-drunk-family-member/
https://www.thedailymeal.com/holidays/13-things-never-discuss-thanksgiving-dinner/
https://www.beliefnet.com/love-family/holidays/12-rules-for-a-more-peaceful-and-happy-holiday.aspx
My number one tip is this: Whenever someone does something obnoxious, pull them into a chore. The kids are fighting? You, clear the table; and you, start washing dishes. An adult is bullying someone? Send them out to buy something. There are always things that need to be done. Just interrupting bad behavior can keep it from spreading to other people. It also discourages a repetition. This works best when you have multiple sane adults breaking up the mayhem, and you do need some social dominance to pull it off. And if it means the troublemakers lurk out of sight to avoid chores? As long as they're not setting the house on fire, let them stay out of everyone's hair.
To prevent friction between introverts and extroverts, give the introverts somewhere quiet to go. Most holiday gathers happen at places large enough that you can dedicate a room to the introverts. This deprives bullies of preferred targets and reduces the chance of burned-out introverts biting people's heads off.